It’s been a minute since I made the time to sit down and write a post.
Not that I’ve just been slummin’ it – over the past couple weeks, I’ve gotten through the insane onslaught of work that is Report Card and Data Collection Season, moved classrooms, and somehow managed to see some friends and family. While I was disappointed that I let the blog fall to the side, I’m also not beating myself up over it because I feel like I was still person-ing pretty hard through all the madness, and a person can only spend so much time… person-ing….
Ahem. It’s been a long month.
In my down time, I either passed out from exhaustion or watched cheesy Netflix movies (they’re so bad in such a good way, it’s like junk food for your brain!). There was no writing or productivity that happened… at all. So now I’m sitting in the aftermath, my apartment is an absolute sty, my body feels gross because I’ve been over-caffeinating, under-hydrating, and totally surviving off rice cakes and chocolate – I can’t even get in to the lack of exercise happening – and I have not completed a single creative task in at least two weeks.
But you know what? It’s all good.
I’m done beating myself up for being human, and having human limitations. What I’m learning is that it’s all about the ebb and flow of things. Some things have to fall away sometimes to make space for other demands, such as the necessary evil of report cards, but it doesn’t mean it won’t return. I think it might be okay to even honour, and lean in, to the ebb and flow – especially as caregivers. So much of the demands we face every day are way out of our control, and we are all doing the best we can every day, it’s just that what we see as things we need to contribute is not humanly possible to be accomplishing all the time – which is easy to forget for yourself, despite how quickly we remember it for others.
So lean into the ebb and flow, know that all seasons end eventually, and that you’re doing the best you can, which is all any of us can do. Then remind yourself that this is also true for all the other caregivers in our lives and on our teams – especially that one who makes you feel like you’re never doing quite enough. I bet you anything she needs your grace the most.
With love and gratitude,