We live in a very strange world. We are overly connected and yet more isolated than ever. We meet strangers that we feel like we know, when we really don’t know anything real about them, and know people in real life that we never have an actual organic conversation with – all because we spend so much time absorbed in our phones and social media.
Now, I’m not complaining. I am a skilled consumer of social media and I have to consistently check in on my Insta habits because I can very easily slide into a realm of unhealthy consumption – but overall I’m a fan. I truly enjoy the amount of quality content out there, and I love having a platform that supports connecting with like-minded people.
HOWEVER, in no way does it replace face-to-face connection. There is absolutely nothing – not even VR, stories, or live chats – that can replicate the feeling of genuine human interaction. In fact, I think we are currently living in a world that has become hungry for connection in a market that is overly saturated with people and organizations parading themselves as serving connection without actually providing more than a surface interaction. I’m not throwing shade here, I’m just saying that you need to be choose-y and pay attention to how you feel around certain people.
Ultimately, this is about establishing boundaries and relationship standards that reflect your self-worth. I think that, because we live in a world that is so fast-paced and really minimizes the amount of time we spend in quality interactions, this impacts all the choices we make in terms of the services we access – should you have the privilege to make such choices. Plus, to be honest, your time is a serious commodity these days. I know we all technically have the same 24 hours available to us, but there are a lot of things vying to take up that time and we shouldn’t be spending it with energies that don’t serve us if we don’t have to. That’s why I think it’s so integral to choose wisely for anyone or organization you have to pay money to spend time with because you’re not just paying for their service, you’re also paying to spend a certain chunk of your life with them.
So consider who you surround yourself with that you get to choose to work with. Think of your health care practitioners (doctor, massage, dentist,physio, chiro), your aesthetic specialists (hair, nails, waxing/sugaring, etc.), your gym or fitness communities, and any extra training or hobbies you participate in. These are all luxuries and privileges that you invest in so you should be able to benefit fully from them and I believe this means finding people and philosophies that really resonate with you, if they are available to you. (Health care practitioners are probably the trickiest category for this but, still, you deserve to try.)
So, if every time you leave the gym you feel more cranky and depleted because of your interactions and the environment there? Leave it. Have an aesthetician or hair stylist who is super skilled but only discusses negative topics or complains while you’re there? Find someone just as good who sees you, meets your vibe, and leaves you feeling lit up. Want a quality work out? Great, no problem, there’s a ton of skilled trainers and quality programs out there, but pick the type of movement that suits you, makes you energized, and, if it’s a community or group, one that makes you feel a sense of belonging.
Your time is precious because you are precious.
The thing is, most of those specialists are really skilled at what they do, and we’re all in saturated markets – so find one you vibe with, one who lifts you up and energizes you, and one who inspires you to be better, regardless of whether they’re trimming your split ends, realigning your stressed physique, or listening to you in therapy. If you can read this you get to choose the people you surround yourself with, so choose well. They can challenge you in a healthy way but they should ultimately light you up, not weigh you down.
So take the time to find your people, and don’t feel bad if you find people you don’t connect with. It’s not that they’re not good, they’re just not the right fit for you and that’s totally okay.
You do you, boobaloo.
In love and gratitude,